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我的心情起伏 - 内心世界 - 感情地带 <BGSOUND SRC="">


+=The Writer=+
:|Borned 87|:
:|Cancerian|:

:Email: enchantedinyou@gmail.com

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*Friday, October 17, 2008

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

remembrance

17/10/2003-17/10-2008
- 五年了。
说忘就忘，毕竟怎样都是不可能的。
每一份回忆，每一夕时光，抹也抹不掉。
只好埋在心里就深处！
偶尔还是会想想过去，想想你！
（你最近还好吗？）


17/10/2008
- first Bank job test.
- first local eye candy after so long (who was my lasT?? i think its been a long time)
- first stressful day after so long. (brains haven been needed as of late till today)

=)) but im happy to have an eye candy. hehe!

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 11:22 PM. 0 comments

*Tuesday, September 23, 2008

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

5yrs

this yr 17 oct will mark 5yrs.

never know i took so long to feel that pinch of ease in me with everything regards to u.

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 10:34 AM. 0 comments

*Tuesday, September 16, 2008

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

happy birthday

Dear You,

Happy Birthday to You!!

no matter what had been done by you, from me, you will never be forgotten still.

my heart no longer hurts now.
it's been numbed.
so numbed that i can hardly feel for anyone, anything, anymore.

i wonder how have you been?
are you still well?
take good care of yourself alright!
must eat regularly no matter what, dont worsen your gastric.

i'll save my wishes and blessings for you.
i wish you well. :)


Lots of love,
teddi

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 2:08 PM. 0 comments

*Wednesday, June 13, 2007

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

thoughts

there were times where u thought everything's gone even the feelings, the memories but never will you expect, years after it just fall upon u like what had happen was just a yesterday thing.

how many wished that what had happen will just be gone, disappeared for eternal and never be back to remind u that it's actually being part of u.
for this, i wished. i wished i had been brain washed and forgotten about everything single thing.

there are things no matter how hard u tried to conceal, u will never suceed in doing so.
what had been a part of you will always stay as one.


i wished i can conceal u for the rest of my life.. =(
"how have u been?" "hope things are fine for u" "i miss u" =((
--- where are u ---



[sidetrack]
even in department store i heard songs regarding to you!
what is this? -__-" a canto song u know!! an oldies!



hope things will be right on track. roars!
made new friends.. cool~ though abit o.O hahaha~

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 9:57 PM. 0 comments

*Monday, February 12, 2007

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

you.. still the same.

after so long.. it's still the same.

suddenly thought of the past so i went to take out some photos i took during certain occasions.
to my disbelief, im still kinda affected over the photos we took.
it just stirred up all the emotions which had been well kept in my heart and memories kept in my mind.

you know you know..
reasons were no longer the issue. it's not important anymore.
because i say so.
the thoughts of not able to see you again breaks me.

how am i to see u once more
how am i to talk to u again

do u ever think it's easy. it's not.
how to forget? i forgotten how.


how are you now??
tell me u're alright.


Period.



alrights.
if i didnt think of the past, i wont see the photos
if i didnt see the photos, i wont get emo
if i didnt emo, i wont type all these.

argh F.
kill me pls.

but this proven that im still alive, not dead.
i still feel. but in the wrong way =/



thought i had forgotten u but NO!
i still care for you. shrugs.

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 1:12 AM. 0 comments

*Tuesday, January 09, 2007

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

time is the key

once a candle melts, it will nv be the shape it was before.
same goes..
feelings changed, it will nv be the same anymore

goes with the flow, cry all you ever need - it doesnt mean that u're weak but it's just another form of releasing ur emotions and time will slowly let u used to the pain, numb the pain and eventually forget abt the pain till it is painful no more.

the more it is being surpress, the powerful the outburst.
just let it be.

i've been through it.
and it took my years to totally let go.
the unknown factor.



it's really sad to see ppl sad.
but there's no way to avoid it.

acting strong, acting brave
will only bring more emptiness
embrace it, accept it
and you will be stronger!! =)


just hope and pray that things will be fine for them.
time is the key.

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 6:01 PM. 0 comments

*Wednesday, November 22, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

New Friends.

i had a great convo with Magda in friendster.
cool. it's so goooood. =D *smirk*
waiting for her to create a new msn acct
she asked me give her time, she may. haha.
soooo we could chat online. yippy. =))

chatting with Anson was gooooood too. hahaha.
*smile* he didnt online these two days. =(
should be rather busy with his stuffs. hurr.
waiting for the chance for him to give me his hp no.
he promised to do so some time later. *hiaks*




think i had a fetish for Virgos. hahas.
maybe because of her. =)
and i think my luck is good these days. xD


stay close with happy people
u will be influence by them
so u will be happy too. =D


Quote:
"Happy people attract happy people.
As you begin to look on the bright side,
you attract happy friends.
To be surrounded by positive people,
you first put a smile on your own face."

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 5:09 PM. 0 comments

*Tuesday, October 24, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

一望無即的愛

你说走就走 一去不再回头
让我在这里痴痴等候
我以为这一次你只不过是说说而已
没想到你是真的要走

你说走就走 不留一点温柔
让我的爱情失去源头
找不到一个可以真正依靠的朋友
告诉我什么是天长地久

没想到 越是爱你 越是想你 越心痛
你难道真的无动于衷
我怎么 想也不是 忘也不是 谁会懂
为你付出的爱决不回收



這真的是最後一次了.
想必以後再也沒有這個機會
沒機會在看到你,送小禮給你了.
有如萬劍穿心的感覺.
有誰能真正了解這份痛!



愛上你的我真傻
過了今夜 試著假裝
不讓你看到我流淚的樣子
我不一定過的比你好

怪只怪我自己
愛你愛的太瘋狂
如歌歲月 一往情深
我的心在你這邊

只有天知道我難過
疼你的心 無處可逃
我和希望合唱
只有你能完成我的歌

舊情如火 心碎難縫
讓愛重新上演
信以為真 再見, 親愛的
用一生愛你太短暫



心里的那份情
會如時間逐漸的淡化
即慢慢的消失

無論如何
我希望在你心的某個深處
你記得我這個人,我的存在

我請求上天
讓明天的結果是好的
否則沒辦法 只好放下了
花了那麼久的時間
真是該好好的往前走


天無不散之宴席



每個人心理某個小處
一定會有個特別的人存在著

你就是那個人
我永遠不想忘記的人

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 11:55 PM. 0 comments

*Saturday, October 21, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

helplessness

had dinner at Arnold chicken.
it tasted rather nice. =)
bought Joe vcds again. im so pathetically broke.


headed to fisherman to chill.
this is the only day that i really touch alcohol.
im feeling so so so bad inside. =/
yes, teared again. it's the only thing i can do now.
how i wish the night just dont go off so fast.

5 more days.
my fear grew as days passed.
im such a weakling. pathetic.
i have yet to type that letter out. shrugs.

sometimes i really think
it's all a pack of lies.
but i still gotta trust her..
perhaps at that time, it's real.
who were to judge?

why is it so hard to shake u off my mind!!!
why!! sighs.


played overnight mahjong at cy house.
oh.. darren stay all the way up. so pro.
hahahas and that bamboo right..
doze off while playing!!!!
YES BAMBOO. WE SAW IT.
SLEEP WHILE PLAYING MAHJONG!!! =p


how i just dont wish to sleep.
keep playing and playing to have peace in me.
it's so hard to take, so hard to hold.
and true enough, im so drowned by it.


mood isnt that good
plus only slept for 4hrs from ytd till now.
zonked out.

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 11:04 PM. 0 comments

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

torn and tattered

it felt like a lightning struck and
millions of thunder bolts shooting
i felt the pain, so hurt.

what a piece of news to start with.
only left with a week.

oh God. is this what you plan to do?
to get her out of my life completely?
deep down i know, if she's out of my sight/reach
sooner or later i will forget her importance, once.
and You are doing it now.
after 3yrs and a few days more, that is.
You read me so well that im scared.

tell me what to do.
shld i write? or shld i just leave her alone?
please show me the way to handle this.
im lost. so lost. =(


once she left, thats it.
i will never get alot of things done.
the definite thing is
1.i wont get to see her anymore
(perhaps if both of us drops by Tmall more often)
2.i wont ever talk to her anymore
3.she will be a familiar stranger to me


why..
why so sudden?
why so fast?
why..


leave it to fate then.
i pray..
may our path cross Again
in a more beautiful way.




have faith. ^sadded smile





my heart is breaking
and bleeding profusely
to know the fact that
we might not meet again.
-torn-

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 2:21 AM. 0 comments

*Saturday, October 14, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

a weird dream.

i had a serie of weird dreams.
nothing much actually.

however, i dreamt of her.
goodness, of all people her and not others.
sigh. alrights alrights.

scene is like mrt station.
she saw me but she carried on walking
after that she turned back,
and she said with an annoyed face.
"my inbox had 500 over msgs of yours"
then i say something like
"you dont even check ur phone"
then we argued for awhile which i cant rmb.
then off she goes.

sighs. =/
why is it always her. shrugs.

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 9:15 PM. 0 comments

*Friday, October 06, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

it ought to be a smile.

today i met someone whom i often hope to see so much
yet...
on the other hand, i hope i wont get to see
sighs. so contradicting. basket!!
it still caught me with a heart thumping moment.
my goodness.
ppl thought i had forgotten you but, in fact, you had nv been out of my heart.
you know how much i wish and yearn for the impossibleS? imu.yes i do.



met up for slacking, crapping, eating.
btw, sorry pandar & neo. make u wait so long den nv eat.
subway rocks. hahas. really love it.
i wish i have more money then i everyday eat till siao!!!



happy.
coz the A&A replied
and i think it's a so-called confirm. he will call us SOON!!!
lovelove. =))




life is such.
but it's not all.
BE OPTIMISTIC!!!!

if He leads you to it
He will bring you through it.
HAVE FAITH!!




:xiong mao
lovelove. hugs. =)
we are there.

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 8:10 PM. 0 comments

*Tuesday, September 12, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

isly, you know?

i had such a weird dream.

i dreamt that Ny reply my msg regarding the Teachers' day gift.
the dream is not clear enough for me to provide details
and it's sarcastic enough to make me feel the sadness.
but it goes something like...

she refused to acknowledge my reason for giving her the gift.
just because im nt her student anymore.
she refused to acknowledge the gift.
just because she refused to accept any gifts from ME.
she gave real sarcastic replies in every messages.


i guess.. she just dont want to do anything related to me. sighs.


i vivdly remember that sentence:
dont give me gifts anymore. bye.

i hate that bye at the end. dont ever say bye to me. hurr.
the feeling is so real.
be it bad or good memories, every single bit, i will remember.
etched in my heart.. forever. =)



ngcmlfy.
ilu, ny.
ietbgasc, iwtsicwy. imttwst. =(

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 8:01 PM. 0 comments

*Thursday, August 31, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

kbox anyone?

it hurts. really. damn blln.


happy teachers' day to all teachers!!! =D


its an oh so good thing for the sec sch kids and pri sch.
they got long weekend to enjoy themselves.
hahas. shld keep myself indoor to avoid crowds.boohoo.


KBOX sessions any taker??
i wanna go intensive kbox day.
mon is already occupy. so tues-thurs, anyone??




damn shit.
pretty ask me go PSS auditions with her -_-
nt shuai nt pretty nt cute nt talented, aud wat sai? =(
hurr hurr.. damn malu lehs. how??
but i dont want her to miss that chance.
i know she can. can go somehow further..
hmm.. shall i do it just for her? shrugs.

我是否应该为了她而对掉自己的颜面？
值得吗？嗨。。懊恼！

alrights, i nt gonna be so dumb. =D



JY - on maternity, sad didnt get to see her.
MH - saw her and pass her the present, nt as happy to see JY.
NY - didnt get to see her ANYWHERE. weird. did she go sch?

anyway, this yr teachers' day i felt so leftout or outcast? =(

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 4:38 PM. 0 comments

*Tuesday, August 29, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

ultimate siansation. hurr.

...

today will be the last time i Gaga over pretty.
from tomorrow onwards i shall stop having likings for her.


it's a nonono-chance. sigh
its ok.
i wish u the best and happy always.
i guess she can do a good job. =)


in fact, i felt so dumb doing what i did now.
oh so dumb and silly of me. =(


and you.. pls make her happy.
else i'll kill u. =D




why did u msg pretty?
and wanting to get MSN from her?
it's like OMG.
i have no right to question but...
hello! it's someone i LIKE, maybe, so much.
at least tell me, but u didnt. =(




today is a SIANZ day. hurr.




im happy i bought stuffs for JY. HEHS.
happy happy.
she rocks no matter what.

im confused of what to do..
to give, or not to give.
NY, makes me crazy. hurr.



nth much happening.
but i think what happenED, sucks. =(



oh yah, some frenz are just so UNAPPRECIATIVE!!!
hurr. i simply dislike the way it is.
call me petty, call me sour. it's ok.
im just trying to let u know..
please be more considerate to other's feelings.
ignorance is good but dont be insensitive.
dont give empty hopes and promises in words
and did another things in real. hello!! we are humans. we feel.

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 10:10 PM. 0 comments

*Monday, August 28, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

the fear in me. =(

"the days are gone, the memories linger,
why do i still ponder over a love so bitter"


while pondering of the things to make and what to give,
i feared what might happened that day too.

you.

i feared the results. really.

i can feel that i will cry so badly just by thinking of it.
sighs. why instill so much fear in me? WHY?

i had nv wanted things to turn out this way.
i had wanted to talk to you like a friend.



you just make me feel so helpless. what should i do?



i guess.. i shall make the first move to talk, on that day.
the rest is up to fate whether i cry or smile.






i do hope i'll smile. sighs.

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 1:30 AM. 0 comments

*Thursday, August 24, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

sleepy.

i think im gonna be a REAL panda with my dark rings. hurr.
im so deprived of sleep, haha ok, i deprive myself from sleep.
i ought to start sleeping early.
i still cant adjust my sleeping time back. that's so SHIT.

ok im so gonna sleep. continue this post tml. ciao.






continued from where i left....





went PC today with xiongmao. hmm.. she didnt study much.
end up we slacked almost all the way.
and she ..... hmm..


P, there are things that u just got to face it or even try the last bit. i understand how it feels and i think lah, just do what u wish to do for the one last time so u will nt regret what u have nt done. alrights maybe u wont agree with what i say. diff ppl handles things differently.its up to u. im just saying what i felt thou.



it's until u face it, things will be diff. else it'll always be e same.



like me, ever since, i nv dare to approach her..
i'll nv know the results of facing her
be it positive or negative, i'll never ever know. =(




sigh.
sometimes we think too much of the negative effects,
we forget about the positive and we end up nt doing what we cld.
sigh.







i thought i had left u far far away.
however the thoughts of u, brought me right to where i'd left.
the whole damn unknown thing.
it's been whole 2yrs. things still remain the same.
i knew i wld nv ever reached u again.
31st Aug, im gonna let u hurt me one last time.
i really had no idea how shld i face u.
dont tell me what i dont wish to hear. PLEASE.
the thought of it already killing me half way. sigh.
alrights, i felt my heart aching and crying. ='(
you had always been a part of me ever since u left.





time will let u feel numb to what hurt u most.
=( it will always be a memory.

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 11:20 PM. 0 comments

*Saturday, August 19, 2006

-+SeLecTiVe BeHaViOuR

random.

havent been blogging much.

absolutely no mood and energy to blog. been sick for few days. sian man. having fever and bad sore throat and fever went down sorethroat remained with alot of weird signs. irritating. UGH.

nothing much happen recently apart from one or two meetups.
i seriously enjoy sitting down reminiscing the good old times. =)
you know, i know, everyone knows, i love my buddies alot!! -hugs-



i've decided to let things flow.
i wont do anything or hope for anything more.
i've got enough disappointments, i want no more.
i only want to find the one and only that i love as of Now,
till she disappeared from my life, then i'll let go & move on.
somehow or rather, i miss NY.
i know its stupid, its dumb but i've no choice. =(
i.. really miss her. shrugs
i felt my heart aching. gosh. =((



i really hope my body system recovers
and cheesecake cafe to call me
and i'll just work my best first.
then i'll decide on the course i gonna apply.
maybe
Interactive Media Design. =)





i want to be a happy kid.
i want everyone ard me to be happy kid too. =D
may we walk towards happiness together.

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by teddi^.^ sealed off @ 1:43 AM. 0 comments